Sad but true.
(❤)
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
Sunday, 1 January 2012
Headache..
7.10Stone, Yerrpp 10 pounds from my Goal of 7STONE Once ii see them magical numbers on my scales then ill be happy.. on top of the world.. no so depressed & lonely Right?
Today's been and up and down crap day ive got a banging headache whilst writing this, its so annoying everytime i get so close to my goal i get on a HIGH and then think ye today i can have a binge cos i earnt it, but then it leads to a downhill of lazy days, but no NEW YEAR NEW START, i needa get back on my under 400 calories a day my Half an hour routine and 2 - 20 mins each zumba, cleaning the house top to bottom and running around tryna keep myself busy all day and i can guarentee ill get there within 2 weeks... sometimes i think i make it harder for myself because i think right when i get to my goal then what have i got to do sit there and continue being lonely feeling depressed like there's no one to talk to ye they might be in the room and think they understand but they dont really understand im really searching hard to be perfect, maybe then i think my life will perfectly fall into place..
ill get more confidence? more freinds well an actualy freind as i have none!, a life? i just carnt understand anything im thinking too much i hate me sometimes i actually think theres something wrong with me.. bipolar or something but nobody seems to notice i try ask for help but im brushed aside it so annoying everyone saying you dont need to lose weight your skinny enough or that you have nothing to be depressed about nobody understand how hard it is to get thru each day in my head i think a million bad thoughts a day and get so worked up and distressed in my head that i dont know how to describe what im feeling to anyone and get all flustered and anoxious why am i so un normal its un real maybe its cos ive had anorexia.. or eating disorder whatever label you wanna name me since i was 12 for 6 and a half years that now im meantally damaged everyone just goes back to its my eating disorder whenever im sad or got a problem im not just an EATING DISORDER but im too ill to type anymore peace.
5ft 6
108pounds
7stone 10.
18years old.
Useless person.
Today's been and up and down crap day ive got a banging headache whilst writing this, its so annoying everytime i get so close to my goal i get on a HIGH and then think ye today i can have a binge cos i earnt it, but then it leads to a downhill of lazy days, but no NEW YEAR NEW START, i needa get back on my under 400 calories a day my Half an hour routine and 2 - 20 mins each zumba, cleaning the house top to bottom and running around tryna keep myself busy all day and i can guarentee ill get there within 2 weeks... sometimes i think i make it harder for myself because i think right when i get to my goal then what have i got to do sit there and continue being lonely feeling depressed like there's no one to talk to ye they might be in the room and think they understand but they dont really understand im really searching hard to be perfect, maybe then i think my life will perfectly fall into place..
ill get more confidence? more freinds well an actualy freind as i have none!, a life? i just carnt understand anything im thinking too much i hate me sometimes i actually think theres something wrong with me.. bipolar or something but nobody seems to notice i try ask for help but im brushed aside it so annoying everyone saying you dont need to lose weight your skinny enough or that you have nothing to be depressed about nobody understand how hard it is to get thru each day in my head i think a million bad thoughts a day and get so worked up and distressed in my head that i dont know how to describe what im feeling to anyone and get all flustered and anoxious why am i so un normal its un real maybe its cos ive had anorexia.. or eating disorder whatever label you wanna name me since i was 12 for 6 and a half years that now im meantally damaged everyone just goes back to its my eating disorder whenever im sad or got a problem im not just an EATING DISORDER but im too ill to type anymore peace.
5ft 6
108pounds
7stone 10.
18years old.
Useless person.
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